The One Where We Talk About Cagles

So first, for the record, apparently when I say "tomorrow's entry" that can mean the actual tomorrow, two days from now tomorrow, or sometime in the future. It's called creative license and I am going to exercise mine when talking about "stay tuned for tomorrow's entry" etc. etc. 

Since it's the weekend, I hope you are all in your comfy pants, possibly watching Law & Order or America's Next Top Model and definitely enjoying some tasty carbs while doing so. I am totes wearing comfy pants and my old-man sweater (purchased from the half-aptly named Old Navy) and I am ready to rock your face off with a story about hockey, Cagles (yep, that's pronounced like you think it is), beer, and banjos.

But FIRST... it's time for my (sort of) monthly weight loss update! In case you haven't already read, I am currently doing Jenny Craig. And yes, the food is more than tolerable. Mostly. (The Swedish meatballs get a side-eye from me, but otherwise, I like their food.)  Since I started on January 15, I have officially lost 12 pounds! Woohoo!!! When was the last time you lifted 12 pounds? That ain't nothing. I still have a lot of pounds I want to lose, but so far, I am feeling awesome. And my clothes definitely now like actually fit me instead of me pretending they still fit when they only sort of do. I'm pretty sure you all can relate to that feeling. And if you can't... I'm impressed/jealous. 

Okay. Now, on to hockey. There's a minor league hockey team (is that what it would be called?) that plays right near my house. They're called the Ontario Reign. Their mascot is a dude in a knight costume. I appreciated the historical accuracy of his costume. Observe:

Hmm... that's a little hard to see. Let's see if I can get a better visual.

Thank you, Google!

So, our tickets were like $10. Thank you, Groupon! Hence why we looked so happy.

Left to right: Monique, Amanda, Amy, me. PHOTO CREDIT: SHELLY SLOPER [is that good, Shells?]

In fact, I'm pretty sure our beers cost more than the tickets. Not important. Non-professional hockey is so fun! We got to sit pretty close to the ice.

And I got this suh-weet action shot of the goalie stretching before the 3rd period.

Okay. Fine. That pic is not so sweet. But he was swishing his legs back and forth all fast like a hockey cat/ninja. Hockey Ninja Cat - new Halloween costume idea. Write it down before you forget. 

At some point during the night, they did the obligatory kiss camera. And then they did something I've never seen before and that's the banjo cam. Where they play banjo music and you have to play along to it. We did not get featured, but I'm still not sure why considering this is what Amy looked like banjoing.

Amanda is scared of how awesome Amy can play the imaginary banjo.

And then right before the 3rd period, they started talking about one of their sponsors... named Cagles. Swear to the bears. This got a narrowed-eye response from me.

Similar to this.

I mean, I understand if that's your last name. But it also sounds like a certain downtown exercise ladies can do... I, for one, would not like people to think about hoo-hahs whenever they come into my store to buy a dishwasher. Just sayin'. 

Look at your life, look at your choices.

But, overall, it was an incredibly fun night even though we did not win free Subway, free Chevy's, or free office supplies. Oh, but I forgot to mention the best part... 

That video was obvi taken at a basketball game (read: I didn't take it last night), but that is the Ole Skool Crew dance group and that is what I have to look forward to later in life. 

Okay... now, it's time for

WEEKLY OBSESSIONS

I've got a few this week, so hang in there.

1) Apparently Dove chocolate has an official message to parents on their website, ensuring parents they do not and never will market their product towards children. Like it's crack. This is intriguing to me. And made me wonder what other companies have the same type of message. I'll try to find more and update you.

2) Like he couldn't get any weirder, Nicolas Cage bought a pyramid to be buried in (when he's dead, not when he's alive. Although I wouldn't put that past him). This is actually an old story. But I just heard about it and I can't stop thinking about how strange this is and why he felt the need to do so and I want to know if it's temperature-controlled or just a giant slab of concrete and what does it look like inside and how do they get him in there and what if he changes his mind? Who will buy that? Any insight would be appreciated.

3) I read the book called I Couldn't Love You More this week. It was published last year, so it's still relatively new. And you'd think I'm putting it here because I loved it, but in actuality, I HATED it. To be more specific, I HATED the main character. But I was equally impressed that a writer was able to elicit such emotion out of me over someone fictional. Normally, I reserve burning hatred for people I know in real life. So, I have to congratulate the writer on that at least. Here is the official description. If it sounds remotely interesting, give it a shot. And let me know what you think.

4) THIS SONG (Tornado by Little Big Town). It makes me want to put on dark, dark eye makeup and swirl into a bar wearing giant heels and whisper this to someone.

Just love it. 

All right. I think that's enough for now. Sheesh. Back to your regularly scheduled Sloth Saturday.

The One Where Ish Gets Real

Not racist... just think this is funny.

Now that we got that out of the way... nice to see you. Welcome back! Tonight, I'm going to post about something I debated writing about, but I think a lot of you can relate (not calling you all fat... settle down... PS you don't even know what I'm talking about yet) so let's discuss! The topic? Weight loss, OF COURSE.

Apparently eating a sausage off a fork is "hot in weight loss" according to Google Images. Well. I kind of hate sausages and eating one off a fork is just silly so that's not the direction this post is going in. However, here's a pop quiz for you.

What do Sara Rue, Mariah Carey and I all have in common? (Circle one)

A) We all look good in plaid
B) We all got married in Malibu
C) We are all doing/have done Jenny Craig

C is the correct answer! Now... I might know what you're thinking. Jenny Craig? Like... really? Jenny Craig?

I know, guys. I KNOW.

Well... yeah. For the record, the food is pretty tasty. Mostly. And it's one of the only weight loss programs I've successfully lost weight with, so that's cool. In fact, it's the only thing I've tried in recent years where I've successfully lost weight. So I am hopeful that this time around, I will be successful again. 

In my weight loss journey, which I've basically been on since birth, I've been chubby, overweight, normal weight, REALLY overweight, then towards normal, then back to overweight. I've learned a LOT along the way, such as it helps me to write down and post concrete goals to look at and I can exercise as much as I damn well please, but if I keep eating the way that's "natural" to me, I won't lose an ounce.

This is so true.

I really don't want this to turn into a weight loss/running/exercise/food journal blog. But I do think people should know what's up in my life. And this is kind of a big thing. I mean, I eat like 5 times a day. And not necessarily small meals, like they recommend...

Just a typical lunch... I'm ON the Michael PHELPS diet!

But in all seriousness, I hope the next time I post a pic of myself on here, I weigh less. That's my vague, amorphous goal for now. And if any of you are on a weight loss journey, just know there's one more person out there who knows what you're going through. And choosing veggies over cake gets moderately easier, but some days it's still a struggle.

In other news, I went to the movies the other night (Silver Linings Playbook - holla at me J. Law and B. Coop! You two rocked!) and as I was walking from my car to the theater, I hear this kid hollering and crying and snotting and I get closer to the car he's standing next to with his parents (maybe??? I couldn't tell if this was a Teen Mom situation or if he was the girl's brother or what was happening) and I hear the "man" tell the kid "Dude! It's okay you threw up! You just ate too much candy!" Okay, so this is where I started questioning if these were his parents because anybody I know with children wouldn't have let the kid eat so much candy he puked it in the Ontario Mills parking lot. And then I side-eyed them and continued on my merry way. Needless to say, I did NOT want candy after hearing that. So at least that happened.

PS - don't worry. I'll never be super skinny. Even at the thinnest I've ever been in high school I was still a size 14/16. And that's fine. Because...