The One Where We Take a Trip to Bass Pro Shops

OMG. Now I have seen it all. In case you couldn't tell from the content and design of this blog (if you don't really know me in real life) and in case you haven't been paying attention since you've met me (if you do know me in real life), I am not an outdoorsy girl. Camping is never on my top-10 vacation activity lists. The thought of peeing in the woods terrifies me. I tried to light a fire at the beach once... and I needed some assistance. 

Here's Amanda, helping me. I look crazed. Not sure why.

So, I'm sure it will come as no big surprise that prior to last weekend, I had never set foot in a Bass Pro Shops (BPS, if you're down with the lingo) store before. I know. I'll give you a moment to collect yourself.

But, my friends Katie (happy birthday, Katie!!!) and Anthony trekked out to the BPS near me so I obviously had to go say hello. Here they are in normal life. (They don't normally look so annoyed that I'm taking their picture.)

So I was at brunch with Amanda and her amigo, Ross, so we all went over together. The following ensued... I wish I was lying.

First, this is some of what the inside looks like. Hello... it's climate-controlled outdoors. I'm coming here more.

Is that a real man climbing a rock wall!? 

I <3 Meese

Next, we spotted some hideous camo "lingerie." 

Natch, I tried a version of it on. With a coonskin cap.

Definitely going to be my farmersonly.com profile pic

Then, I spotted some very flattering overalls and another hat to go with them:

Sass face.

Then we headed upstairs. And found a mummy-style sleeping bag that will keep you warm when it's 17 degrees outside. Obvi, Amanda had to try it out. And Ross looked like a displayer person on The Price Is Right. Except more creepy.

THEN it was time for shooting. KEEP IN MIND I had never held a gun before (let alone a shotgun!) in real life. Here was the scoring system:

<100 = You need practice!
100-200 = You're pretty good
etc. etc.
500+ = You're a pro!

Ross scored 534... I scored 13.

Annie Oakley I am not

But I looked totally profesh. So that's what counts.

Then... oh wait... where did I go?

A hat, too? Really?

The pièce de résistance for the day were the American flag shirts we discovered on our way out the door. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

Ross, trying to get his old-man belly just right.

They are ready for Florida.

All in all, a fun adventure. Katie and Anthony were looking at fishing bait the whole time, so they did not participate in our photo shoot, but swear to the bears they were there. I had so much fun I may even consider buying a whole bunch of crap from there and going camping. As long as I get my own tent. And someone brings coffee. And a bathroom. 

Happy Monday, everyone. :-)

The One Where You Learn My Secret Shame

So I've been experiencing some post-Boston-Marathon-bombing, Tax-Day, general-quarter-life-crisis blues this week so I figured I would compile a list of all the things I go to that make me feel better when I'm down in the dumps like this. And who knows... if you're feeling icky too, maybe they will help. 

First, if I need to hear something to feel better, old school Mariah Carey is my go-to. Especially her performance of If It's Over from SNL from, like, 1992.

If I need to taste something to feel better, THIS, straight out of the carton. No bowl necessary, just a spoon. Or a fork if you're desperate:

If I need to touch something to feel better, a fluffy dog does the trick. The fluffier, the better:

Come to mama.

If I need to smell something to feel better, I honestly think there's nothing better than fresh laundry.

And finally... I'm going to let you in on my secret, secret shame. Which is obviously no longer going to be a secret. But I just have to share... When I need to watch something to feel better (usually, when I need a good cry to feel better) I ... can't believe I'm admitting this in public... I get on YouTube and I watch videos of people surprising their families with the news that they are pregnant. I know. So weird. These people are all strangers. I have no vested interest in their procreation. I don't even really like babies. But there's something about watching a grandma- or grandpa-to-be squeal with excitement and you feel the joy vicariously. It's amazing. It reminds me of the power of human emotion. 

I know. I have a problem.

But just watch this and TELL ME it didn't at least make you smile. So many feelings.

I promise I'll be in a better mood when I post next. And if I'm not... well... we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!

The One Where I Make You Hungry

It is HIGH TIME for some new Weekly Obsessions, doncha think? Without further ado... (PS there's a lot of food in here, so if you're hungry... get a snack first!) (PPS do I EVEN need to say I found all the recipes on Pinterest?)

Weekly Obsessions! Whoo!

1) This cucumber salad. HOLY MOLY. I made it for lunch on Friday and literally ate the whole bowl standing up at my kitchen counter because I couldn't handle wasting time walking to the table to sit down and eat it. I am not even ashamed. I swapped the sour cream for plain Greek yogurt and added more vinegar than it called for, but obviously those changes worked for me.

2) This kale salad.

I left the avocado out since I didn't feel like killing myself and the nuts out because I'm currently poor and nuts are expensive, but THE DRESSING MY GOD THE DRESSING. This was another one I couldn't stop eating while standing up at the counter. (Do I have a problem? I'm starting to make myself sound like a farm animal...) I didn't eat kale until recently, but it's got such a satisfying crunch. Mama like. 

3) These no-cake strawberry shortcake bite things. 

Guys... I ate [insert the largest number I can eat without you judging me here] in one sitting. And then I looked around and I dusted the crushed Nilla Wafter remains off my fingers, put on my running gear, and headed out to try to counteract that whole experience. Needless to say, they will be made again. And again. And again. I will be bringing them to every single summer party I'm invited to. DELICIOUS.

4) The following quote. I had to read it 3 times the first time I read it. (Not because it has big words in it, but rather to let it sink in.)

"Cut to the chase, don't waste time doing stuff that seems 

to be essential to your life and business, just because other people do it. 

Why make nachos if what you really want to do is 

pick the browned shreds of baked cheddar

 off the cookie sheet? Just cook the cheese and be done with it."

Whoa. WHAT. I LOVE THAT. It's from Karen Karbo's book The Gospel According to Coco Chanel. I found it in a blog entry from one of my favorite bloggers, Nicole, from A Life Less Bullshit. I'm trying to just bake the cheese, now. 

5) I also cannot stop thinking about this quote:

I need to embrace this more. I don't know many women who are okay with being sucky at something the first time they try it. We all are like "I NEED TO BE AMAZING FROM THE GET GO" and that's how we get into trouble. I'm granting universal permission to everyone to just be okay with being a beginner. 

6) My Origami Owl locket. My friend Francesca sells Origami Owl and we made this one that's Kappa-themed. (Okay, fine, technically she made one first and then I just copied it.) I AM OBSESSED. (Hence why it is under the Weekly Obsessions section, Nan...) Check out more of their stuff here: Origami Owl

All in all, an obsess-y week. Excited to start another one tomorrow because that means we're 1 week closer to summer! Come onnnnn summer! Also, keep your eyes peeled for a weight loss update this week. It's a good one :-)

The One Where You Learn About the Runners' Inner Circle of Trust

So if you're not a runner, this post may be mildly annoying to you. I remember back when I did not work out and running was not EVEN an option in my mind, I hated even hearing people talk about it, so if that's you... Come back tomorrow! But first, here's a picture of a dog in running gear for you to enjoy.

If you're sticking around, I'd like to talk about the unexpected side effects of running. Because, yes, we all know the traditional benefits/side effects of running: your butt gets smaller, your VO2 max improves, you get that endorphin high yadda yadda yadda. That is NOT what I'm talking about today. I'm talking about the things you didn't even realize were going to now be something that entered your brain. The fun side effects. Such as...

1. Suddenly, thinking about having to run through O'Hare to make the last connecting flight of the night to your hometown doesn't fill you with dread.

Run, run Rudolph! Santa's gotta make it to town!

2. You discover the runner's inner circle of trust (as I like to call it). It's that feeling when you pass another runner on the road or make eye contact with another runner on the treadmill at the gym and you both kind of nod and recognize that other person's efforts and you know what they're going through.

3. You have lots of time to think, so you start planning out music videos to the songs you're listening to, detailed revenge fantasies, what you're going to wear when you go out that night, etc.

Hahaha

4. You are better able to gauge distance in real life. Especially when driving and your GPS tells you you're going to turn in .4 miles... Now you know approximately how far ahead that will be and you don't necessarily have to immediately put on your blinker and panic that you're in the wrong lane.

5. You find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time on Nike's apparel page and wishing someone would buy you a pair of these leggings and that shirt and these shoes in all the colors in your size.

NEED

6. I know, I know, I wrote about this in my post about my latest half marathon adventure, but honestly, once you realize you have the power to start running and find yourself running further and faster and better than you have before, you come to realize that if you can run... You can do anything you want. You learn that just because the story you've always told yourself is that you can't doesn't mean that is true. You have the power at any time to stop, assess, and make a change.

If you're a runner, what kind of unexpected side effects did YOU experience when you started running?

The One Where You Learn My Sister Tricked Me With Cookies When We Were Little

So, raise your hand if you have a sister. This can be a blood sister, someone you are so close to they may as well be your sister, sorority sisters, your "sole" sister (ahem... Shelly), any sister in general. I bet most of us have someone in our lives we consider beyond a friend to that sister level. I am lucky enough to have a whole pile of sorority sisters in addition to my real-life sister, Laura.

(Some of) my Kappa sisters - my pledge class on the night of pick up. We look like babies.

My blood sister, getting friendly with Captain Morgan.

So, since it's National Sibling Day (thanks Facebook for informing me!) I think it's time you learn a little more about the woman who has known me since the minute I was born. Now, Laura and I have never been joined-at-the-hip, tell each other EVERYthing, fight, cry, laugh it out, BFFAAUTET (Best Friends Forever And Always Until The End of Time) type sisters. That just wasn't our style growing up. We've always been really different. Not just physically, but we've both just kind of done our own thing and left the door open for the other to join, but didn't necessarily encourage the other to actually come through the door. I'm sure part of this is due to the fact that we're 4 years apart and Laura didn't want her little sister hanging around all the time. True story: when we were really little (like when I was 4 and she was 8), she would tell me she could hear mom calling me, saying she had cookies for me, and when I ran off to investigate, she would sneak away to go do whatever fun thing she had planned. Double true story: this tactic worked on me EVERY SINGLE TIME. I just always held out hope that one day, there our mother would be with the cookies! She also made me pull her up the hill to the store to get ice cream in our little red wagon, again when I was 4 and she was 8. True love, for sure!

So, anyway, our relationship kind of just was until Laura graduated high school and moved out of our parent's house and from that point until she had her daughter (almost SIX YEARS AGO OMG), it was kind of just like "yeah, that's my sister." (Laura, sorry if this is news to you, but this can't be a surprise, looking back on our relationship at that time!) Then when she had Cheyenne, things just changed. For both of us. I think bringing a new life into the world changes a woman in a way that you just can't understand until you're there. I saw (and continue to see) so many changes in Laura. She's a much stronger, more independent, inspiring woman. She is definitely happier. I told her recently her smile looks much more genuine in pictures than it did a few years ago. For the two of us specifically, I've seen her desire to reach out to me and keep me involved in her life grow a lot. And I know for me, I began to realize how important my family, and maintaining my relationships therein, is. Thank you, Dad. :-) So we've been growing steadily closer over the past few years and let me tell you... I couldn't have asked for a funnier sister who is a better listener. That is the one thing about Laura that I would pick as her best quality. When we talk on the phone these days, she REALLY listens to me. Plus, she's always down to drink a margarita and watch Troop Beverly Hills, two must-have qualities for ANY friend of mine!! And she may love Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken more than I do, which makes me happy!

Anyway, the point of this post is to 1) invite you to share stories about your sisters, 2) tell you that just because you aren't super close right now doesn't mean you won't be (this applies to any relationship in your life), and 3) show you some pics of Laura and me that will make you grateful you didn't have to go through puberty at 5'9" with glasses and braces.

Christmas, 1990. Santa is drunk.

My 13th birthday. Nice midriff, Laura! The glasses are here, the braces are coming.

Laura's 21st birthday! We were so blonde!

Minnie Mouse ears because... duh.

If she wasn't literally half my size, I'd assume she was wearing my shirt here.

Taken in January :)

So, Happy National Sibling Day, Laura. I love you lots and I am very glad we're on this crazy roller coaster ride called life together.