Who is this lady?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The One Where We Go Around the World (Sort Of)

So I just got back from another quick work trip last night, this one taking me to my home state of AZ, and while I was flying back last night, I got to thinking about all the fun traveling I want to do in my lifetime. I enjoy traveling, but I am not a travel junkie, like some people. Example: I feel like my friend Christina is always heading off to travel somewhere, whether it's to the mountains for weekend skiing or across the world to Finland to pet reindeer (true story).

This is Christina and me in 2007 in the good old Kappa house. I apparently really like blonde highlights and bronzer back in the day. 

And I'm definitely not as much of a traveler as my friends Nicole and Matt, who basically went around the world this past year for both work/school and funsies. They were in South Africa for six months and Nicole wrote some pretty amazing blog posts while they were there. 

Anyway, my travel bucket list is (for now, at least) relatively short. And WEIRD. I want to go to some strange places, yo. Here they are, in order from Least Weird to Weirdest:

1) Bora Bora. I mean, come onnnnnn. Over-the-water private bungalows with glass bottoms?! Le Meridien, I will be seeing you eventually.

2) Ireland. This one's a little weird because it's truly the only place I want to go in Europe. Everywhere else in Europe would be a nice bonus, but Ireland is a must. I've been obsessed with going since I was really young. 

The cliffs!

The sheep!

The potential to meet a nice Irish man who looks like Gerard Butler!!!

3) Wyoming. Okay, I know that since I'm not a skier, and I like being able to shop at Nordstrom, this seems like a strange choice for me. But COME ON. The CLEAN AIR. The STARS AT NIGHT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

4) Antarctica, preferably by cruise ship. This is another place I've wanted to go for a long time. And since I don't exactly love cold weather, this probably is baffling to some people. But the penguins!!! The ice!!! I can dress like Ralphie's brother!!!

5) The weirdest one of all... Yellowknife, Canada. Say whaaaaat another place that's super close to the Arctic Circle? WTF, Nance? I recently discovered that Yellowknife a) exists, and b) is the "Gateway to the Northern Territories" in Canada. How cool is that? And how amazing would it be to see the Aurora Borealis like this? Plus, their license plates are shaped like bears. Yes, please.

Fun facts about Yellowknife:

-- Almost 20,000 people live there.
-- The summer solstice is a statutory holiday
-- There's an event called the Longjohn Jamboree every winter (you know I love me a good jamboree)
-- It is known as the Aurora Viewing Capital of the World
-- There is a restaurant called the Dancing Moose Cafe
-- It would take me 42 hours to drive there from my house

Where do you want your travel adventures to take you?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The One Where I Hate You Then I Love You But Not Like Celine And Luciano

First of all, I just have to tell this silly, ridiculous story. My office is located next to a strip mall that has a Rubio's, a Pizza Hut, some weird jewelry store, a Jersey Mike's sandwich place, and a generic icky dentist office that back up to the side of our building. Basically, there's the parking lot, a strip of "vegetation" (in which for some time a homeless man with a laptop [I know, I don't know how he got it either] who we nickenamed 3G was living and bumming free internet), and then the back doors of all of those businesses. When I turn my head to the right, I look out my window at the trees/bushes and usually there is nothing much to see going on there ever since 3G left for a better hotspot. Until yesterday. I'm here at my desk, minding my own sweet business when I hear a noise coming from behind the trees so I look over to investigate and there are 2 Pizza Hut employees MAKING OUT and I can see them through a VERY convenient hole in the trees. WHAT. Color me amused. I felt a little creepy for watching them but they were only mackin' on each other for about 10 seconds. Then they stood out there smoking. The employees at Pizza Hut are apparently very saucy these days.

Okay, that joke. I'm sorry.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about today is something I think everyone can relate to at some point or another. Lately, I really hate all my clothes in my closet these days and I'm not sure why. Every time I open it to get dressed for work or funsies, I basically make a giant sad face and want to throw everything I see in the garbage and get sad that what I pin on Pinterest doesn't automatically end up in my closet waiting for me to wear it. I know this feeling will turn around at some point, as it always does, and I will no longer hate my clothes but love them again. And this got me thinking about all the things I used to hate... but no more. This list includes (but is not limited to):

1) Canadian tuxedos, also known as denim on top and denim on bottom. To be clear, there is the right way to do a Canadian tuxedo

Nice use of different shades of denim that FIT WELL

"The rules were real that day I WORE A VEST."
"That's because that vest was disgusting."

And there is a very, very wrong way to do a Canadian tuxedo

RIP Justney

2) Beets, but not Beets by Dre

Rather, the actual food

I think Amanda (?? someone who has enough influence over me to make me try food) made me try them in a salad a while ago. YUMMY.

3) Joe Nichols, who I used to hate when his song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off was popular and he looked like this 

But now I can't stop listening to THIS SONG!

4) Maxi dresses, which I used to HATE HATE HATE and then I just hated them and then I liked them and now, I'm obsessed, which is great considering the trend is probably just about dead. Good timing on that one, Nance.


5) Cilantro. Not sure where the hatred of cilantro came from, but it was there and it was large. Now, I actually really enjoy it and can't imagine eating salsa that doesn't have cilantro in it. What are we, farm animals?

6) Hashtags. Do I even need to explain? Okay, I guess I will. I hated hashtags before you could use them on Facebook because they were hard to read and I hate when people hashtag every word. Now, however, it's a good old fashioned case of if you can't beat 'em, join 'em and I like to say "hashtag, please" and other such ridiculous phrases out loud in my daily conversations because I'm #annoying like that.

Anything you hated and now love?

Monday, February 17, 2014

The One Where it is Nallantine's Day! (I am still so proud of coining that phrase.)

As I'm sure you recall, my bestie from college, Calla, and I have been known as Nalla since our junior year of college. Oh what? You don't know remember detail of my life? Remind yourself here. 

So, per our tradition of Nalla visits on/around Valentine's day, she made her way down to me this year for #Nallantine'sDay14. And it. Was. Glorious. Mildly exhausting, but glorious. Last time Calla was here in California, it was Thanksgiving 2010. We made up our signature dance move of Big Girl in a Little Boat (sung to the tune of Fat Guy in a Little Coat!) and took many a ridiculous picture. This time, we also took many a ridiculous picture and drank a la-HOT of wine. I apologize in advance that none of these pictures are the same size or consistently centered. This is what I get for trying to write a blog post on my iPhone. (First world problems.) 

Of course, we had to craft the night she got here. Love banner, courtesy of Target. Also, for the record, I am the least capable crafter you will ever meet. It's the lack of fine motor skills. Sad.

The next morning, eating breakfast outside while I worked. "This strawberry looks like it's wearing pants."

Then I told Calla she looked like a cat, lounging on my patio. (She's on the bottom.)

We also have a tradition of pottery painting whenever we're together. The heart is mine and will be a spoon rest (sorry for using the b-word, mother) and Calla's will be a magnet! 

We went for a nature stroll after our creativity fest and took a pic by a cactus, approximately 8 seconds before we heard something terrifying in the bushes near us and ran away. 

We of course had to pose by the love banner before going out for sushi dinner on Valentine's Day with Shelly and Monique.

Mini champagne bottles, what up!!!

Sushiiiiiiii and 2-for-1 drinks, which made our cab driver hate us.

The next morning we ran the Paws Fur Pink 5K in Orange County to benefit breast cancer research (glad we raised $0... oops).

There were SO MANY DOGS.  I was in heaven. Especially looking at this one's furry butt wearing a tutu!!!!!!!

Congrats to Samantha for completing her first ever 5K race!! (Also, yes, New Kids on the Block tshirt... duh).

"Nice tongue, Miley."

Rockin' the Seahawks shirt in front of more cacti.

Thennnnnnnnnn we headed down to San Diego and went on a Pedal Pub with Ross and Amanda. In case you couldn't tell from this picture, we were about a million times more fun than the other 4 people on our bike. (We are still not sure if the couple on the right were brother and sister even though they were married.) If you've never been on or seen a pedal pub, essentially it's a giant slow bike where you pedal and ride around town to various bars where they give you drink specials and make friends. Very fun. Highly recommend.

"And you get a pedal pub and you get a pedal pub!" 

"Okay, Oprah!"

Nice shoes, Ross!

Love my Manders!

Lookin' saucy.

Lookin' absurd. PS I need that chair. 

Sorority squat!

I wanted to sit on this motorcycle really bad, but was vetoed. So I just stuck my butt on it instead. Klassy.

And what comes after a night of debauchery but relaxation! At Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa, which really needs to step up its game regarding the checkin and checkout process but the rest of the experience is so amazing, I can't really complain. 

No, we're not diseased. Just gettin muddy!!!

Lounging VIP style in the Club Sole.

"Don't float away. Hold my hand." 

All in all, a perfect weekend. Especially since we topped it off with a little of this last night:

Though we live so far from each other (1,278 miles to be exact), Calla and I still text each other basically every day and I could not be more grateful to have someone in my life who makes me laugh until I cry on a regular basis. It just begs the question... What will be the name of our iminent reality show? Is Nalla too obvious? 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The One Where You Wish You Were a College Admissions Officer

So I came across this Buzzfeed article recently: 22 Of the Most Creative College Essay Questions From 2013. And I decided to answer them, in 2 sentences or less. Because what else do I have to do with my time?

1) What does #YOLO mean to you?

To me, #YOLO means something is so good I can't even process it:




2) "Describe your favorite 'Bazinga' moment."

I've been thinking about this for days now and I can't come up with a good response to this... Oh no, my wit is already failing me. Please let me into college. I swear I'm better than this. 

3) “Winston Churchill believed ‘a joke is a very serious thing.’ Tell us your favorite joke and try to explain the joke without ruining it.”

The joke = this essay question.
Explanation = someone is getting lazy in admissions.

4) “Anna Quindlen says that she ‘majored in unafraid’ at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid.”

That one time I saw this hot dog and didn't run away screaming in fear.

5) What matters to you, and why?”

It's really important to me that we don't quit fighting the war on socks and sandals in this country. Because children are being needlessly frightened by this daily.

6) “What makes you happy?”

Fluffy white dogs.

7) “To tweet or not to tweet?”

As with most things in life, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. (What?)

8) “Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about?”

Condoleeza Rice. I'd ask her how to look as fierce as her on the daily.

9) “What’s your favorite word and why?”

Ersatz. Because it looks foregin, but it's really English.

10) “What do you hope to find over the rainbow?”

Nothing related to The Wizard of Oz, because that movie freaks me out.

11) “You’ve just reached your one millionth hit on your YouTube video. What is the video about?”

The story of my decision to purchase an alpaca.

12) “Give us your top ten list.”

Beyonce, chocolate cake, poodles, coffee, Tadashi Shoji, Beyonce, sunshine, peanut butter, library books, the first Sex and the City movie.

13) “Imagine looking through a window. What are you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you?”

I'm looking at Pat Sajak and that is meaningful because it means I'm about to finally get my chance to shine on Wheel of Fortune!

Game show dreamboat.

14) “Describe yourself as fully and accurately as possible in 140-characters.”

Way less into Candy Crush than my niece.

15) “Take a blank sheet of paper. Do with this page what you wish. Your only limitations are the boundaries of this page. You don’t have to submit anything, but we hope you will use your imagination."

Please accept this drawing of me, angry over my student loan balance.

16) “What outrages you? What are you doing about it?”

When people refuse to karaoke. What I am doing about it - plying them with more drinks so they'll karaoke with me. 

17) “Please tell us about a gift, given or received, that was particularly meaningful to you.”

Floor seats to NKOTBSB. Do I really need to elaborate?

18) “Pick a movie or novel where the protagonist makes a difficult choice. Do you agree or disagree with the decision he or she made?”

Movie - Tangled. Yes - I always agree that you should refuse to let your insane wicked "adoptive" mother keep you hostage in a tower for years on end even if she does let you have a pet chameleon.

19) “What sets your heart on fire?”

Usually really spicy chili. 

20) “If your name were an acronym, what would it stand for and how would it reflect your strengths and personality?”

NANCE - Never Accepting No Crap Ever

21) “What is the best piece of advice you have received while in high school?”

 Don't worry about your Spanish AP exam. And stop eating snack bar nachos.

22) “What is the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word ‘Future’?”

Back To The...

Can you believe these are actual college entrance essay questions that people answered in 2013? I'm pretty sure my college entrance essay had me describe what The Good, The True, and The Beautiful meant to me and may have asked me to talk about my favorite book. The times... they are a-changin'.