The One Where We Go Around the World (Sort Of)

So I just got back from another quick work trip last night, this one taking me to my home state of AZ, and while I was flying back last night, I got to thinking about all the fun traveling I want to do in my lifetime. I enjoy traveling, but I am not a travel junkie, like some people. Example: I feel like my friend Christina is always heading off to travel somewhere, whether it's to the mountains for weekend skiing or across the world to Finland to pet reindeer (true story).

This is Christina and me in 2007 in the good old Kappa house. I apparently really like blonde highlights and bronzer back in the day. 

And I'm definitely not as much of a traveler as my friends Nicole and Matt, who basically went around the world this past year for both work/school and funsies. They were in South Africa for six months and Nicole wrote some pretty amazing blog posts while they were there. 

Anyway, my travel bucket list is (for now, at least) relatively short. And WEIRD. I want to go to some strange places, yo. Here they are, in order from Least Weird to Weirdest:

1) Bora Bora. I mean, come onnnnnn. Over-the-water private bungalows with glass bottoms?! Le Meridien, I will be seeing you eventually.

2) Ireland. This one's a little weird because it's truly the only place I want to go in Europe. Everywhere else in Europe would be a nice bonus, but Ireland is a must. I've been obsessed with going since I was really young. 

The cliffs!

The sheep!

The potential to meet a nice Irish man who looks like Gerard Butler!!!

3) Wyoming. Okay, I know that since I'm not a skier, and I like being able to shop at Nordstrom, this seems like a strange choice for me. But COME ON. The CLEAN AIR. The STARS AT NIGHT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

4) Antarctica, preferably by cruise ship. This is another place I've wanted to go for a long time. And since I don't exactly love cold weather, this probably is baffling to some people. But the penguins!!! The ice!!! I can dress like Ralphie's brother!!!

5) The weirdest one of all... Yellowknife, Canada. Say whaaaaat another place that's super close to the Arctic Circle? WTF, Nance? I recently discovered that Yellowknife a) exists, and b) is the "Gateway to the Northern Territories" in Canada. How cool is that? And how amazing would it be to see the Aurora Borealis like this? Plus, their license plates are shaped like bears. Yes, please.

Fun facts about Yellowknife:

-- Almost 20,000 people live there.

-- The summer solstice is a statutory holiday

-- There's an event called the Longjohn Jamboree every winter (you know I love me a good jamboree)

-- It is known as the Aurora Viewing Capital of the World

-- There is a restaurant called the Dancing Moose Cafe

-- It would take me 42 hours to drive there from my house

Where do you want your travel adventures to take you?

The One Where You're Not 100% Sure I Didn't Have to Slaughter a Goat in College

Okay, seriously, I think I just achieved the impossible. I ran out of shampoo and conditioner AT THE SAME TIME IN THE SAME SHOWER. WHAT. When has that ever happened before?!!! Answer: never. I think I deserve a prize from the universe. 

Anyway, lemme finish my Arizona story and then we can continue.

After living in Arizona for almost my entire growing-up life (from the age of 5 until I flew the coop and went off to Michigan for college), I can honestly say that there is no other place in the US like it. Given that I haven't been around the world yet, I can't say there's no other place in the world like it, but I'm pretty confident it stands alone in Amurrica.

And not because you can still ride around town on a horse with a pistol and a saloon girl like it's NBD (no big deal). But rather because it is one of the most BEAUTIFUL places I've ever been to. It took until I was about 22 to start to realize how gorgeous Arizona is. And it took until I lived in LA for about 6 months to realize that holy sheet, having clean air and being able to actually see the mountains that are right in front of your face and like a bajillion stars at night is awesome sauce.

Look at that sunset!

Arizona is also unique in its wide variety of nightlife it can offer you, for example the empty bar I posted a picture of last time, called [I kid you not] Denim and Diamonds.

Wuzzup, truck coming out of the wall.

Or a place that has a burger called The Sasquatch, which is a burger with two grilled cheeses for the bun.

My friend, Shawn, eating The Sasquatch. (He is not that creepy in normal life.)

Sasquatch!!

And you never know what you're going to find on the side of the road...

What the heck was in that bag?

Another picture of Franklin, just because.

And lots of opportunities to stay hydrated... At least when you're at my parents' casa...

Note: he is drinking whiskey and it wasn't even noon.

Wine times with my sister!

My Pinterest obsession is paying off!!!!! 

And fruit has a lot of water in it... Isn't this Martha Stewart-level?? Good call, Amanda!

Then I helped my niece put on some tattoos...

And debated buying a lollipop with a scorpion in it... But decided no. 

And Amanda and I went to The Biosphere, which is really hard to explain. But it's cool. Read up if you don't know what it is! Here's my extremely abbreviated version: back in the day, this rich dude named Chuck Bass [click to see Chuck in a onesie... just because]... Oh wait, something Bass. But not Chuck Bass. Anyway, he donated a BOATLOAD of money so this facility could be built where scientists could go in and study all how plants and stuff grow in all different environments around the world, except all in one place and they could control the details. In the 90s, a group of scientists got locked in for 2 years to do mad experimentation and then they had to be let out because they were basically starving. So... it's cool.

Good job stitching your panoramic picture together evenly, Nan.

The creepy tunnel we had to go down to one of The Lungs!

Amanda, inside The Lung!

Science rip-off of Carmen Sandiego.

So, overall, Arizona pretty much rocks. I'm so glad I went home for Easter and I am really looking forward to going back at some point this summer. Even though it's going to be about 1 million degrees outside. That's why God made air conditioning. And mojitos. And swimming pools.

Anyway, this weekend, I was at a mini-conference thing for my sorority. I didn't take very many pictures, except of this ballin key that was set up in the room of the woman who hosted our hotel room wine party/meet-and-greet on Friday night. Which was awesome. 

And my friends Kristen and Mikey. 

This weekend was amazing. It was really inspiring and made me want to go out and be a better Kappa! Even though I'm not an active member, being an alum is just as cool and it was so fun to be around other Kappas and talk to everyone about all the goats we had to slaughter when we were hazed back at school.

...

JOKES!!! 

I will finally be home for the entire week this week, and I have some good posts planned in my head, so look for more soon!

The One Where You Learn I Like Options

First of all, our friendly mewling backyard cat just walked past our front window and it nearly gave me a heart attack. If you're gonna prowl around my yard, at least do it where I can't see you so you can't scare me!!!

Second, I think it's time for some

Weekly Obsessions!

I have a lot of music in this one, so get ready. (Or readaaaayyyy if you're up for it.)

1) JT's new single, Mirrors. Duh. The song, I am DIGGING. Especially the weird part at the end where he sounds like a strange robot... "You are-you are the love of my life." Hearts. The video just left me confused. My friend Lauren literally prowled around fan message boards to try to get some further insight onto the vision behind the video. If you have any you can give us, by all means, let me know.

Side note: I am still listening to the whole CD, so my opinion is not fully formed yet. Although I am also very much digging his song Pusher Love Girl. 

2) One of my favorite artists of all time is Rachel McGoye (check out her song Oh My My... It is Oh So Good), so while I was on Spotify yesterday, I clicked on Related Artists, to see if anyone else out there could thrill me like she does. And lo and behold, I come across Grace Weber and her version of Holocene. It literally gave me chills. Give it a listen.

3) The video for the song I Love it by Icona Pop is like your best drunken crazy night smushed into three minutes. So fun!!

4) This may be the whitest I'll sound in my entire life, but here goes. Last weekend, Amanda and I had spring break in Newport Beach and on Sunday morning(ish...) we went to Whole Foods for breakfast/lunch. And all I have to say is thank GOD I don't live next to a Whole Foods because I would seriously be there every single day for at least one meal. They have SO MANY OPTIONS. I LOVE OPTIONS. Every time I go to dinner, I wish I could just have a bite of basically everything on the menu instead of a whole plate of whatever. Whole Foods... keep doing you.

Endless choices!

5) Just... this. I need this in my life, along with an excuse to wear it!!

Okay, so, finally, I need to finish my story about Pittsburgh and then I can STOP talking about Pittsburgh and move on with my life. First of all, in some places out there, the signs that tell you what lane you need to be in come AFTER you make a turn and are written in about size 12 font. In other words, you can barely see them. That can be a problem when your GPS is also confused and calling roads one thing when the signs say another and then you come to a 5-way intersection and are so busy thinking about how anybody drives a stick shift in that town in the winter because the hills are so steep and probably get really icy that you are in the wrong lane and don't even know it until all of a sudden you're back on the freeway when you just got off. 

That's why God made liquor. To calm your nerves after living through such an ordeal.

Something else about Pittsburgh is the fact that there's a DINOSAUR in the airport! I love this guy!

So welcoming and friendly. Along with these guys.

Something else I was introduced to in Pittsburgh... Pure Barre. If you've never heard of Barre classes, you aren't missing much it is basically a workout class that incorporates a ballet barre. So juuuuuust in case you ever thought, ballet looks easy, this should be simple, you will quickly find out just how wrong, and out of shape, and fat you really are. It is NO WONDER dancers don't eat anything because having a 3-sided mirror staring at you the entirety of your workout makes you regret every time you've ever gone to McDonald's and not asked for dressing on the side. Especially when the girl next to you looks like a freaking Victoria's Secret model. Like... why are you here? Aren't you done? You don't need to work out anymore!

Horrible. Torture. Hate.

The worst part of the whole experience is the fact that the girl who taught it cuh-LEAR-ly knew I was going to be struggling throughout this whole experience so she planted herself right next to me so she could give me personalized tips the entire time. Like... leave me alone. 

Anyway, that about wraps that ish up. I'm leaving to go home for Easter tomorrow, bringing Amanda with me so she can go to Frost Gelato a hundred times, and then I'm staying in Arizona for more classroom observations. I will definitely have more fun things to report once I get back! In the meantime, I will leave you with my new favorite picture...

Best part = Peter Pan in the background

Just think of that if you're home for Easter and people start getting all weird, as families tend to do, and put on your best Oprah Bitch Face and say "Haterz exit" and carry on. 

xoxo

The One Where Everybody Did NOT Know My Name

Well, I'm back for a hot second and then I'm going home this weekend for Easter, plus more work travel, so I will try to get all the important stuff in before I leave again! And by important, I mean not at all important, but hopefully entertaining slash potentially interesting. 

So for the entirety of last week I was in the great states of Pennsylvania and Ohio observing teachers teach math in their classrooms. That's part of what I do for work, and I love when I get to do observations. Kids are hilarious and if you've ever wanted to feel like a celebrity for a day, call up any of your friends who teach elementary school (middle and high schoolers are too cool to be impressed by much of anything) and ask if you can come hang out in their class. You'll get lots of stares and "MISS WHO IS SHE?!"s and funny questions. So, first, let's talk about how Kids Say And Do And Wear the Darndest Things.

Things I heard/were said to me last week:

1) "You're prettier in person." - Uhhhh... thanks? As opposed to what? 
2) "And I'm like 'Mom, can I stay home and do math?' and she's like 'You gotta go to school!' And then I get home and she's like 'What's 2+2?' And I'm all 'That's easy!'"
3) "One time, I touched a rainbow."


4)

"My favorite part of the story is pombetch" - Uhhh... What?

5)

"If I had a pot of gold, I would hide it in my Nana's messy clozit."

 Kids also have some amazing style. Here's how to dress cool from an elementary student's perspective.

Step 1) [cut a hole in the box] Start with your most obnoxious sneakers. 
Step 2) Pick a theme - hot pink, leopard, camo... whatever you think makes you look most fly.
Step 3) Put on your body as many items that will fit that correspond to the theme. Leopard leggings, shirt, and socks? GET 'EM ON YA.
Step 4) Drop pb&j or juice or something on the front of your shirt.
Step 5) If you're a dude, WWE shirts are always in.

To be clear, I'm NOT hating on this. I wish everyone kept the confidence it takes to wear ridonk outfits like the ones I saw last week because if we just cared a little less about what people thought of us, we might be better off in general. Also, it's not like I looked all that great in elementary school, thanks to the cotton tie-waist shorts my mom made me wear pulled up so high they were practically covering my entire stomach. Plus, when you're 8 years old, but you can fit into women's size clothes already, that makes shopping tricky. Anyway, this post is going in a different direction than it needs to. BACK ON COURSE.

Another fun time I had while bopping around Western PA/Eastern OH...

Was my lunchtime adventure at Strumph's Bar & Grill. The first day of observations, I had about 40 minutes between teachers to eat lunch and according to Yelp, the ONLY thing around the school where I could go and come back in enough time was a pizza place called, like, Pizza Joe's or something. So off I go. Except when I pull into the lot (after almost getting t-boned thanks to a blind corner... hello, adrenaline rush!) Pizza Joe's has a For Rent sign on it. Awesome. So I turn around.... and there's Strumph's. 

It's a small bar, right next to a Curls and Clips (I swear) so I run across the street because I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE (or so I think. I come to find out later there's a Subway about .3 miles from the school. Thanks, YELP.) and YANK the door open... And find I have stepped back in time. This was not a place where everybody knows your name.

Cheers, I love you.

No, picture more of this:

With about 5 people sitting around the bar, smoking, throwing back beers and whiskey (it was 11:30 AM, mind you) while a really old episode of $25,000 pyramid plays on the TV. And I am wearing business casual clothes, carrying my giant Dooney & Bourke work tote. I clearly fit in. 

So everyone turns to stare at me, including this lady whose sunglasses were so dark, I am unsure if she actually saw me and I am equally unsure how she saw the end of her cigarette to light it when she needed a new one. So I slink down into the seat closest to me and tell the girl working behind the bar that "I just need something to eat..." And proceed to order one of the BEST sandwiches I have ever eaten in my entire life. So, that turned out well, actually. But as I'm eating, I'm looking around the bar, where you can purchase a glass of Franzia or Carlo Rossi for $3 (that is an excellent deal) and realize the man sitting at the end of the bar is missing a finger, so I think it may be time to go. So I quickly finished, paid my $5.95 for my sandwich, and hustled back to school, where I proceeded to stand outside in the wind for an entire 5 minutes trying to get the smell of smoke off my coat. 

.... It's always an adventure.

Part 2 to come!

The One Where You Get a Quick Look at My Life for the Past Four Days

Oh people. I have so much to update you on, but I am writing this on a computer in my hotel's business center, and I don't want to write a full entry with all my normal pictures, etc. on here. BUT. You have so much coming your way from me. Including:

1) A rant about how tiny the signs are that tell you which lane to be in when driving through Pittsburgh
2) A full detailed account of my lunch in a bar
3) Kids Say (And Wear and Do) the Darndest Things (also, side note: who would send their child to school wearing a shirt that said Trick Daddy on it?)
4) A rantette (small rant) about hotel gyms
5) Pictures of the funny things I have seen out here
7) Pure Barre (ever wanted to feel the most out of shape and fat you've ever felt in your entire life? Take a Barre class.)
8) Justin Timberlake's 20/20 Experience
6) Whatever else I feel like writing about

I hope you are all having a fun week. And that it's warmer by you than it is here because when I woke up this morning it was 14 degrees (Fahrenheit, which I'm pretty sure translates to like negative a million Celsius. Also, can someone please explain to me why we still don't measure things in Celsius or metric?)

Just because I can't leave you without one picture.... another driving dog to hold you over.

"Dudeeeeee... I am so cool."

Peace, love, and hugz,

NancePants

The One Where I Talk About Taco Tuesday, But Only In A Way That Makes Me Wish I Went to Taco Tuesday

Oh hey look at that! It's Tuesday again! Gotta love Tuesdays. So much happens on Tuesdays. Like, almost the same stuff you did on Monday except now you're one day closer to your next weekend. And new CDs get released on Tuesday. WAIT. Who buys CDs anymore? Oh right, me. I also am a fan of Taco Tuesday, although I don't have a go-to Taco Tuesday place around here, so if you have any recommendations, lemme know. 

Other things that are gonna happen on this Tuesday: I'm going to write about my fantastic weekend with my friend Christa (prepare yourself for a lot of pics) and about the book I just finished for my book club that's coming up this Sunday. 

First things first... So Christa got here (without plane issues UNLIKE LAST TIME thankyousweetbabyjesusinthesky) and we proceeded to sit out on my patio for 3 hours because the weather was like this:

Again, thank you Google

And we ate strawberries and did some information exchanging (read: gossiping) and basically it was heaven. So then we proceeded on to dinner, like all normal humans do...

After dinner. Christa is good at taking selfies

And then she had NEVER SEEN BRIDESMAIDS WHAT so we watched that. Please, by all means, either say out loud or text your best friend your favorite Bridesmaids quote right now since I just reminded you how much you love that movie. I'm a fan of "It's civil rights. This is the 90s." I like to say it when it's 100% not appropriate but that's how I know we're going to be friends is if you laugh or not. Don't say you weren't warned. 

So, anyway, Saturday rolled around and we (after going to a Nike Training Club workout class at the gym, which... woof) we drove on down to Stone Brewery

I love any excuse to put a driving dog in my posts

And met up with some of my friends for a delicious and nutritious lunch. Or as my father would say, a repast. 

Gang's all here!

We're normal. And then it was time to head down to San Diego itself. I love that place. We did what ladies do on Saturday nights - stood around drinking $10 drinks when we could have made them at home for free, but whatever.

I'm on the left, Christa's on the right.

What am I looking at?

BRIGHT. SO BRIGHT.

Rooftop bar what's up!

Action shot!

True lovez

The Hard Rock...

The second place we stopped at was The Hard Rock hotel. Which was fun. But there were a bunch of people there and we could not tell (legitimately) if they were with a prom or a shotgun wedding because they all looked LIKE BABIES.

Ok, fine, it was not this extreme but you get the picture

And right before we left, the Creepiest Creeper wearing a white suit jacket tried to attack. We dodged his advances and slipped down to the elevator so we could get pizza before settling in to catch our zzzzs. 

The Next Morning... eating breakfast! WHY must I be so PALE

And, like all good things, our time together came to an end. EXTREME SAD FACE. I hope Christa and I see each other before another 2 years goes by, but you never know.  So I came home and distracted myself from my feelings of sadness not with chocolate (win) but with this hilarious book:

We're reading it for my book club which is meeting on Sunday and I am so glad we did because I kind of peed a little from laughing at some parts. The woman who wrote it, Jenny Lawson, wrote one of my favorite blog entries of all time about a giant tin chicken. If you haven't read it, do yourself a favor, put on a diaper, and then read here. If you have read that book, what did you think??

Well, there's no rest for the wicked so I'm off ... to SLEEP. HELLO. Do I look wicked?