The One Where We Keep It Positive

Well, I'm just gonna say it. So far, 27 has NOT been my best year yet. But instead of whining and recapping all the negative, let's just not. Instead, I want to focus on some recent things that I have come to love/that make me happy. In the words of The Greek Chorus in Legally Blonde The Musical, let's keep it pos-i-tive!



1) Summer fruit.

Of course I start with something food-related. But honestly, is there ANYTHING better than a perfect peach or some simply scrumptious strawberries?

2) The library. 

Trinity Library, Dublin, Ireland

God bless whoever invented libraries. Seriously, I hope that person is blessed from on high wherever he/she may be right now. First, the idea of a library is genius. Second, I have recently re-read a bunch of Meg Cabot books because I remembered how much I love her writing and I got to do it all FOR FREE (minus the 25 cent late fee for one book... oops). I can basically read ANYTHING I WANT FOR FREE. Third, they are (usually...) quiet. Some days you just need some mandatory quiet, ya know?

Wait, didn't Ben Franklin invent libraries? Maybe not. That may be a rumor. At least according to this 86 paragraph long Wikipedia article.

3) Colorful paintings. 

Though I'm in no position to be buying actual art right now, that doesn't mean I can't LOOK. One of my favorite bloggers, Jenny Andrews Anderson (who writes over at My Favorite and My Best) is also an artist. This is my favorite current painting of hers. 

Blue Foot by Jenny Andrews Anderson

I have also been browsing Etsy for smaller, more affordable paintings. So far, this is my favorite I've found so far, created by SlaviART.

4) Snarky sayings made into decorative cross-stitch hangings. Such as...

5) The AMC TV show Halt and Catch Fire, which is about the PC industry in the 80s. The music and fashion and hair is all killer. Monique and I watch it every week (although I watched it without her this week since she's home on vacay... sorry, girl!) and even though some of the computer lingo is hard to understand, it's very drama and very fun. Plus one of the main guys played Darcy in the Keira Knightley version of Pride & Prejudice so... there's that.

"Ooooh we're so pensive and computery!"

6) Sara Bareilles's song I Choose You - cute, simple, and you KNOW how I love proposal videos!

7) Finally, this thing I found on Pinterest (WHITE GIRL ALERT) that I keep coming back to. Preach, Socrates. (According to my extensive research [read: 20 second googling] this is actually a quote from a character named Socrates in a book called Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book that Changes Lives by Dan Milman. Either way... I like it.)

No, I do not have any further updates on my car or anything related to it at this point. But you know I will post them as soon as I do!! I also wonder how much Honda is willing to do for me if I hint of taking legal action against them. Do you think I could negotiate for free cupcakes for life in addition to a car if it comes to that?

The One Where My Car Was Thieved

First, you better grab a snack because this is going to be one long story. Second, yes, you read that title correctly - my car was thieved from me by someone. But this isn't your typical stolen car story (? I don't even know what a typical car thieving story would be). No, rather, this happened while I was at the Honda dealership... getting my car serviced. 

I know. 

Settle in, readers.

Just as a backstory, they are remodeling the real salesroom and service center at Honda so currently their service center and then "customer lounge" (ha) are in trailers at the bottom part of their car lots. And apparently when you take your car in for minor service (which is what I brought mine in for) they have the people at this place called XPress Lube do the oil changes, tire rotations, etc. XPress Lube is right next door to Honda, but not technically affiliated with them.

Here's (allegedly) what happened during my day yesterday:

9:25 AM - Leave house flustered and hungry due to waking up late and not having time to make breakfast/coffee. Decide will stop at Starbucks drive-thru. Take weird side streets to freeway and curse self for not just taking the road right by my house down to the 10.

9:44 AM - Pull onto freeway.... at 4 mph because someone had an accident on the freeway and traffic is almost at a standstill. Turn music up louder to drown out anxiety that has formed as a result of probably being late for my appointment and I still need to stop and get breakfast. (If only that were my only problem of the day.)

9:50 AM - Get off freeway with anxiety slightly less. Walk into Starbucks and hear woman sitting outside explain to friends that her dog has a bladder infection because "she gets stressed out when other dogs at the dog park bark at her." Mentally roll eyes. Stand in line behind boy who gives (what I think is) name "Carob" to barista. Make stupid joke at barista about how busy it is in Starbucks.

9:55-10:05 AM - Drive to Honda, talking to sister on phone. Realize I don't know where to go anymore for my service now that the regular service place is not in order. Yell into phone. Hang up when I realize where to go.

10:07 AM - drop car off at Honda dealership. Guy makes note of mileage, I ring-check him, realize he is wearing very pointy dress shoes, proceed over to "customer lounge" (where they are playing horrible TV show called Mansion Hunters or something) and proceed to eat previously acquired Starbucks breakfast, contemplate where to eat lunch before blood donation (which was scheduled at 1:00 PM), and read Diane Ravitch book about piss-poor American education system.

11:05 AM - Become outraged reading about San Diego schools in the late 90s-mid 2000s and their dictatorial superintendent. Realize am freezing.

11:44 AM- Realize I still haven't heard anything from anyone about my car. Lots of people (and annoying children) are hanging out in "customer lounge" so I know they are busy and decide to give them some more time to finish car. Watch second half of Snapped: Kill For Hire. Wonder if everyone ever featured on this show has a heavy Southern drawl.

12:30 PM- Get annoyed realizing I will most likely not make my blood donation appointment at 1:00 given that the place is 15 minutes away and I still have to get something to eat so I don't pass out upon giving blood. Go in to talk to Steve (guy who took my car in) and see what's the dealio and do I have to reschedule my appointment.

12:33 PM - Steve evades question, says car is still "up with my guys... let me get back to you."

12:34-1:00 PM- Stand outside "customer lounge" to thaw out and call American Red Cross to reschedule appointment to next Friday. Mentally pat self on back for consistently donating blood. See Steve drive what I assume is his own car up and down from the trailers to the service bays a few times. Wonder what he is doing and if he's incompetent at dropping cars off for service.

1:02 PM - Go back inside customer lounge. Send Calla annoyed text about being hungry and that I'm still at Honda dealership.

1:30 PM- Walk next door to XPress Lube to use bathroom, buy snack since there are no bathrooms in "customer lounge" and the coffee machine needs a new circuit board or something.

2:00 PM - Receive phone call from Steve who apparently came looking for me when I was bathrooming/snacking. Go over to meet him in service trailer.

2:03 - 2:39 - Steve explains my car cannot be found despite multiple people checking the lot multiple times. I laugh nervously and say "what the f*&$%" at least five times. It is determined that what most likely happened is my car was left in the regular line outside of XPress Lube, keys in the ignition or at least in the car, and someone saw it sitting there and just took it.

I repeat: Some Joe Blow walking down the street saw my car sitting there and just sat down in it and drove off with it.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S MY CAR.

Another possibility is someone who works at XPress Lube and steals cars on the side called his friend and said "we can get good money for the parts on this thing, come steal it" ....????? This is my overactive CSI-watching imagination at work in this thought-process.

Anyway, I had to call my insurance company and file a stolen vehicle claim, the police came and took an official report, and now I am waiting to hear anything from anyone. Poor Steve looked like he was gonna barf when he told me what had happened. I am surprisingly calm about this whole thing. I mean, honestly... it's just a car. The worst that's gonna happen is I have to get a new one.

The best part of this story is that they gave me a loaner car from the dealership (a 2014 Accord Crossover... it's pretty nice) and as I was leaving and heading to Target to buy my friend Ashley a new folding table (since hers was also in my car yesterday) I look over and at the corner near the mall/Target the same cops who just took my police report are there questioning hooligan-looking youths!!! I thought maybe they were the ones who stole my car so I watch them go into the mall with the youths and mall security and then literally hung out in the parking lot waiting for them to come back out. LIKE A HUGE CREEP. So I see them come out, run over to the police cruiser all flustered "HI SORRY I KNOW THIS IS CREEPY SORRY I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GET A COPY OF THE POLICE REPORT?!?" when really my question was "Are these the assholes that stole my car?!" but no. They were just shoplifters, I am assuming, although they were actually being arrested and I don't know if they usually arrest people for shoplifting since I have never done such things. But the cops were really nice and just said "Well, hope we don't call you with information about your car and then you can get the deal of the century from the Honda dealership for their incompetence!"

After this, I went home and proceeded to make sure all my doors and windows lock securely because apparently when I get my car stolen I am convinced the thieves are going to come find me? Again, this is not the movie Taken. Calm down, Nance.

Last night also happened to be my coworker/friend Ashley's White Trash Bash Graduation Party, which I of course still attended since thievery will not hold me back from partying. Here are some of the highlights.

Trying to channel old school Britney Spears. Yes, those are rolled down Uggs on my feet.

I literally drew my eyebrows on with black eyeliner. Borderline chola.

Mound of Hostess snack cakes. Yes, I ate a few of these.

Stank facin' with the Guest of Honor herself.

And here we have a nice juxtaposition of classy granny and the white-trashiest of them all.

The yard looked amazing.

Slippers made out of MAXI PADS.

Had to carry my baby somewhere.

Dead eyes. Always dead eyes.

This flamingo...

Outhouse!!

Mugshot times. And Sam, looking adorable.

So, OBVIOUSLY, I will post an update about my car once I know what happened to it, etc. Luckily there wasn't much stuff in there, but I had quite a few irreplaceable mix CDs and a book on CD from the library... thank GOD I'd finished it before this happened so I at least knew the ending! 

Be safe, everyone!!

The One Where Proposing to Me with A Pizza Isn't the Worst Thing You Could Do

So I came across this article on Buzzfeed today about the 20 Worst Marriage Proposals Ever or something to that effect. Being a professional judger of all things wedding-related these days, I decided to click over and check this out for myself. This then re-directed me to ebaumsworld.com, which, hello, that domain brings back memories! I'm pretty sure that's the website where I first watched this video:

Warning (mom): terrible language abounds in this video but it's so funny I can't help it.

ANYWAY, back to the article at hand. Upon perusing this fine piece of journalistic whatever, I narrowed the 20 down to my 8 favorites. Enjoy.

1)

Were you even trying AT ALL? This is horrible.

2)

You know what... I'm not gonna lie, proposing to me with a chicken sandwich is way more fun than proposing without a chicken sandwich. Although, honestly, I feel like the presentation of the ring could have gone so much better.

3)

GOOD GOD PUNCH ME IN THE FACE! Side note: my parents don't even remember how they got engaged. They are memory slackers.

Double side note: Is her name really Breeze?

 4)

See thoughts on Chicken Sandwich Proposal above. Although I'd like to note that using a different colored topping (e.g., black olives) would have stood out more. Just a thought.

5) 

I think this person is just asking if they want to make merry with them, which yes, I always enjoy some good merrymaking. And no, that's not code for hankety pankety. The official definition of merrymaking is "The process of enjoying oneself with others, especially by dancing and drinking." If you don't like merrymaking, you're probably a robot.

6) 

Did you MURDER someone in order to make this terrifying proposal happen?

7) 

I cannot tell if they are going for a Yoda theme or not with this. Also, everyone's expression is very lackluster. If you're gonna have people hold signs for you, they better at least look happy and/or excited for you!

8) 

THE DUMBEST ONE OF ALL - talk about pressuring the girl to say yes!

Bonus Neil DeGrasse Tyson reaction gif, summing up my thoughts on all of these: 

For the record, if I ever get proposed to, it had better happen in private. And obviously snacks are encouraged. As is the use of the song Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge. 

Well, more snark later. Along with my Kappa Convention (Konvention) recap! 

The One Where the First Goal is to Not Drive off a Cliff (Part 2)

So before we get to the second part of the road trip recap, can I just say I am importing CDs into my iTunes, which I haven't done in approximately forever and it's bringing back the memories like crazy. Like how in 11th grade, when I basically made the exact same mix CD throughout the entire year, just putting the songs in a different order each time. I'm pretty sure Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard was my most-listened to song on iTunes that year. Or like my first year of grad school when Amanda and I each made one another 6 CDs to listen to on our respective drives home for the Christmas break. Or like in college when I discovered that you could get CDs (and DVDs) through the library's ILL system, which I took full advantage of and I'm pretty sure at least 1/4 of my music is from that alone.

Anyway, back to Road Trip Adventures!

So after we left Laura and Ryland's...

NICE OUTFIT, RYLAND

PS, thanks for hosting us and making us coffee

PPS, don't uninvite me from Thanksgiving even though I've made fun of your Crocs and socks approximately 800 times

PPPS, did I mention you're my favorite brother-in-law?

We drove up to Capitola, which is a cool little town about 30 miles north of Monterey right near Santa Cruz. Our first stop in Capitola... Gayle's, which is a restaurant/bakery and happens to be where Laura and Ryland got their wedding cake. And oh what a cake it was. Full disclosure: we ate at Gayle's 3 times in less than 3 days and everything we got was amazing. Seriously, SO GOOD. Worth the drive from wherever you live, yes, including not North America.

Caaaaaake

We also met a very cute dog, who I tried to take a picture of. Sorry for the awful (potato) quality.

She was so cute and tiny and soft!

From there, we met up with Amanda's (for all intents and purposes) Mom, Sandy, and sister, Annelise. They decided to come down from Sonoma and meet us in Capitola. They got a hotel room, which we slept in the first night but the second night we felt bad for Lucy and slept in her again.

Anyway, Sandy and Annelise are the best, and they came bearing wine, a variety of cheese, and enthusiasm for taking selfies. Oh, and a horrible story about how they had recently attended a wedding where there were styrofoam plates?!!!????!?!???!?! It's one thing to use styrofoam if you are having a backyard bbq wedding (bride burgers and groom burgers as we are apt to say in my family) and wearing a white cotton skirt from Old Navy in lieu of a wedding dress but no. This was trying to be a classy affair. So this launched us into a discussion of hilarious/horrible things we've all seen at or heard about at weddings. And just solidified my decision to not actually have a wedding whenever that time comes but rather, drive through Elvis in Vegas followed by karaoke and a massive amount of food. God, where was I? Oh right. Capitola. This is what it looks like!

Annelise, Amanda, and Sandy! Ready to party!

That night, we went to dinner at this AMAZING restaurant called Shadowbrook. Holy cow, this place was delicious.

And my iced tea came in this amazing DIY pitcher!

Also, on our walk to the restaurant we passed by this cool trestle bridge.

And, because no road trip is complete without Amanda doing something slightly illegal or at the very least against the posted rules, she tried to prove how she could climb up the fire escape even though the hotel had tried to block it off, but... tell Amanda "don't do that" and she hears "try this". Haha!

 We went to this ridiculous bar for a drink after dinner, which included Kamikaze shots for everyone (except me... I was still taking antibiotics at this point).

And dancing. I mean... hair-whipping, barefoot, sweaty dancing. And I'm pretty sure the guy on the left of this picture was wearing a zoot suit.

In the morning, I looked out the window to see a billion kids barreling towards us down the beach. Apparently it was the Junior Lifeguards! Fun! 

We walked to Gayle's for breakfast the next day and saw some amazing flowers and gardens on the way there. Capitola knows how to plant!

Also, not flowers, but a pretty cool gate. I was impressed!

Sidewalk art, of course. 

Many cookies were purchased/eaten.

On our way back, we stopped in a thrift store and Amanda bought this INSANE purple dress for her upcoming masquerade party. I mean... truly, a gem.

And in Capitola, if you have an emergency, this is apparently how to get an emergency response. Ha!

Sandy found her favorite bumper sticker ever (sorry, Mom)!

I contemplated buying this shirt, but settled for a picture instead.

And the sass continued with Amanda's new favorite sign.

For once, my foot looked small!!! 

Lucy, enjoying the view in Capitola.

The second night, we decided to go to the Santa Cruz boardwalk and stopped at a restaurant first for drinks/sort of dinner. They gave us our check in a book... Klingon version of Shakespeare to be exact. 

The Santa Cruz boardwalk was amazing. And since it was Tuesday, every ride was only $1. I REPEAT, ONE DOLLAR FOR A RIDE. AWESOME!

Post-roller coaster joy!!

Deep-fried Oreos!

Nausea-inducing swings!

Deep-fried cheese!

Weird creatures!

The coolest carousel!

My new boyfriend!

Bumper cars!!! 

 Kids on shoulders!

But, of course, at some point, the fun had to all end. Unfortunately. So we went back and slept in the van again. Amanda took a picture of what it was like up in the Penthouse. Much more spacious than you might think. Definitely big enough for 2 people!

 On our way out of town we stopped at Gayle's AGAIN (stop judging me) and bought our final round of treats. I wanted this beehive cake, but refrained.

 So many sweets!!!

And we wound our way back to LA mostly down the PCH, which was so beautiful. These pictures don't even come close to doing it justice. If you haven't ever done that drive (especially if you live in California already!) you have to at some point. It was just SO BEAUTIFUL.

We stopped at one point called McWay Falls, and while we didn't really have time to full on stop and hike down closer to the waterfall, we got some good pics from the road above.

Road sign advice is the best advice.

So, we made it back to LA and due to rush hour traffic, ended up returning Lucy after hours, but the Jucy people were totally cool about it, so customer service points to them. We got back on Tuesday night and then the next morning I woke up and got on a plane for Houston, Texas where I went to my sorority convention. Which, I'm sure sounds amazing to some (Nicole, I'm looking at you) and like a total nightmare to others (Amanda, I'm looking at you). I, of course, fell on the side of "this was so amazing I wish this was my life all the time!!!!!!!" That recap will be next! 

In the meantime, I hope you all have a lovely weekend and are fully recovered from 4th of July partying by tomorrow. I am in denial about it being Sunday and also refuse to drain the kiddie pools still set up in our backyard because that's called being an adult.