Who on earth is going to pay $55 for a "Swarovski crystal" (uh, yeah right) license plate holder? Oh right, people who want to be just like celebs, since "Celebs Love Them!" Which made me think of that column in US Weekly called Celebs, They're Just Like Us! And it's like this absurdity:
So. Insane. I saw one in a recent issue where it said "They put their shoes on!" Like they'd normally have shoe slaves who put their shoes on for them? I don't even know.
Anyway, after guffawing over that "Swarovski crystal" ridiculousness, I had to go to Costco. Going to Costco is always terrifying for 3 reasons. First, the carts are so. large. Like unnecessarily large. Second, people are crazier than normal in Costco. Like if they don't run you over with their unnecessarily large cart, there may not be anymore 24-packs of paper towels. SO THEY MUST GET THERE QUICKLY. Finally... the samples. Oh god, the samples. These are terrifying because there are so many options on a Friday afternoon and I remember someone telling me one time they calculated how many calories you would consume if you took just one sample of everything on an average Saturday and it was like eleven billion calories. You think samples would be innocuous and the calories wouldn't count since they're coming from paper cups, but you're wrong.
|Worse than drug pushers|
And they make you feel guilty if you don't take a sample, so I have learned the best offense is defense and I avoid eye contact and pretend to have myriad food allergies. Somehow, I made it through Costco only taking one sample of Yoplait yogurt. THAT is worth a medal just as much as finishing a half marathon is worth a medal, in my opinion. Unfortunately, there is no one in Costco to hand medals out. That's what you should get when they check your receipt at the door to make sure you didn't steal an extra Aero Bed or fifteen pounds of strawberries.
Carrying on... last week I posted Friday Faves in my entry about carrot fries but I have decided that having a Friday Faves means I have a lot of pressure to post every Friday. This blog is a pressure-free zone, so instead it's changing to Weekly Obsessions, and if they're a little less than weekly, we'll all deal with it together. So here are my Weekly Obsessions from this week:
1) Satirical product reviews on Amazon. I've been obsessing over these for a while now, but I still laugh every time I read them. My favorite is the banana slicer. Read more here. I literally laughed until I cried.
|Just a sample of what's to come.|
2) This bizarre compilation of kids dressed as various celebrities at the Golden Globes. I found it on Buzzfeed, but the photographer's website is linked there, too.
|Fake Halle Berry. Love it!!|
3) This song. I listen to it at least 3 times whenever I work out. And yes, I found it because I went to see Step Up 4 (in 3D... the only way to experience it. I hope they release the original one in 3D. CHANNING'S ABS CAN YOU IMAGINE) so no judging.
4) The TV show Parenthood. MY GOD. I don't understand how a TV show can impact me so much. I cry ever single time I watch an episode. I didn't STOP crying at Tuesday night's season finale episode. My friend Stacy and I tweeted each other about how it seemed like a series finale almost. If NBC cancels it, SO HELP ME.
5) Bonding with friends over unexpected shared experiences. For example, getting stuck in clothes in the fitting room. Who has this NOT happened to, but why is it talked about so little? My friend Jen and I were just discussing this today about how there's a certain point where you know it's going to go on your body, but you're unsure if it's going to come off, so you're doing the step-touch in your dressing room, getting sweaty and nervous you're going to have to ask the girl outside to help you get it off your body and you start questioning why you feel like you need to try on something you know is too small for you before you even attempt to get it on your body. Why do we do this? Who knows.
|We feel ya, kid.|
My friend Nicole, who blogs over at Treasure Tromp and is 100% awesome, is going to help me figure out this whole blog thing this week and maybe things'll get a little cooler around here. I know, you can hardly stand how cool it is now. Just you wait!