|Chipotle, where the secret ingredient is crack cocaine!*|
|You can get a Thanksgiving dinner YEAR ROUND. GENIUS.|
You get the picture. Anyway, saying something is "fast casual" makes it the culinary equivalent of wearing a polo and jeans. Like, you look fine. Sometimes better than fine. But not amazeballs. And that's fine. Amazeballs on a daily basis is boring.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, something else you should know before I continue. I am a planner. Like a constant, never-ending, need-to-be-on-top-of-it-all planner. I just really like planning okay? OKAY!?
All right! Now that we've got all the background out of the way... So after work today, I zipped over to the gym and worked out with my trainer, Ashley, in preparation for the race my "sole sister" Shelly and I are running on Sunday. (More on that later.) By the time I left the gym, it was 6:30 and I NEEDED TO EAAAATTT. So as I'm driving home I think to myself "Huh. What's the easiest way to undo all the work I just did in one fell swoop? Ah yes. Mexican food. Oh look.... A Wahoo's!"*
|Do not be fooled. Nobody in here actually surfs or knows what any of the stickers on the walls mean.|
So in I go. And while I'm looking at the menu, I decide I'm getting an enchilada PLUS two tacos so I can eat the tacos for lunch tomorrow (this is where you knowing and already accepting that I'm a planner comes in handy). These will come with rice and beans, so this is obviously a pretty decent meal for one person in one sitting, but whatever. This makes total sense to me since I will be spreading it out across two meals. I order, and the girl behind the register informs me they'll call my name when my order's ready.
So I sit on the small bench across from the end of the counter. My reasons for this are two-fold. One, I needed to sit so I could comfortably do some "information gathering" (some call it stalking, whatevs) on Facebook while waiting and two, the fact that I'm sitting so close to the counter means they do not need to holler my name for the entire restaurant to hear when my order is ready. While waiting, these bros roll in behind me.
|Visual representation of bros|
Jesus Christ, man. No need to read the order at all, let alone affirm TWICE that I got two tacos! I quickly mumble "yes", grab the bag, and head out the door, while the bros and everyone else in the restaurant looks at me. This was not one of the times it was my imagination, I got visual confirmation everyone was, in fact, looking at me.
And that's how Nancy's rules of fast casual restaurant etiquette were born. So far, I have two rules:
1) Refuse to serve bros wearing sweatpants and carrying cans of Monster.
2) When you're giving someone their order, don't read it back to them unless they ask.
And 2a) Read it (only if prompted!) at a normal volume. If you have to yell all the time, that may indicate the need for a trip to the doctor.
There you have it. Go forth and preach, my friends. And stop drinking Monster. It's bad for you.*
*Again, I am apparently an expert...